An Ideal Childhood...

 

I was born in a small New England town of about 3000 people.  Two gas stations, three churches, and not a single stop light.  Youngest child of a dairy farmer with 200 acres to run, play and explore. Went to the same schools my father did, even had a couple of the same teachers.  Summers were long, winters were cold, and life was good.

 Sounds ideal doesn’t it? 

This is the condensed version of my childhood.  The one I would tell any of you should we meet in person.  I had the perfect childhood, and if I let myself, I can almost believe it. 

But if I think about it, I start remembering.  And when I start remembering I start hurting, and when I start hurting I reach for comfort foods.  Some of my favorites from my childhood; Grandma Parker’s strawberry shortcake, Lemon Meringue Pie, Maple Walnut ice cream, lots of ice cream, maple cotton candy, maple sugar candy (Did I mention I grew up in Vermont, where all things maple are sacred?), apple pie w/ ice cream, Oreo ice cream sundaes….I seriously could go on for hours…

 

If you don’t think about the hurt, and go back to my picturesque childhood you are still going to see my father, pre diabetic, and then diabetic, putting sugar on everything.  I thought it was normal to put sugar on cantaloupe.  Sugar on leaf lettuce from the garden.  Stops at the small town bakery several times a week.  50 cents for penny candy.  Chunky candy bars in the glove box.  *shrugs*  It was my normal…

The dairy farm meant whole unpasteurized milk at all times.  Plenty of it.  Morning, noon & night.  To this day I can not drink whole milk.  It also meant slaughtering our own meat, vegetarians look away now.  We had a large chest freezer filled with bacon, hams, venison, steaks, chops, burger, liver, roasts, sausage, you name it, we had it.  And we ate it.  Liberally.  Salad for dinner?  Broiled fish? Not in this house!!!! No Way No How! 

So, poor food role models added to poor genetic make up… My father, passed away at age 70. My Daddy, Diabetic, high blood pressure, heart disease, arthritic joints, gastric reflux.  My mother passed away at age 57 of breast cancer, alcoholism, COPD…

So troubled childhood + bad food role models + unfortunate genes, + a VERY unhealthy relationship & marriage to a man who was emotionally & physically abusive to me brought me to 250 pounds, on lil ole 5’2 me. 

I am now 37, almost 38 years old, divorced and remarried to a WONDERFUL man. He knew me at 250.  Loved me at 250.  Married me at 250. But knowing that my Daddy was diagnosed with diabetes at age 35, time is not on my side.  I started this weight loss journey because I was scared.  I started in January, and so far, as of this morning, I have lost 40 lbs. And I am looking forward to having a picturesque ideal healthy adulthood, to match that ideal childhood I spoke to you about when we first met….

 

'You cant grow cabbages here!'

The most recent numbers show that 2/3's of Americans are overweight, and 1/3 are obese (that would be my category).  Those numbers are staggering.  Everywhere you go, we are bombarded by images of pretty food, drinks, supersizing, frozen desserts, fast food, and all of these images are accompanied by groups of thin, pretty, handsome people. Food network (Hi, my name is Jennifer and I am a food network addict), the Cooking Channel, and countless others channels all cater to our food obsessions. And btw, have you ever watched Nigella?  Food & Sex.  In one show. 

As with any task that one undertakes, you are always hoping for encouragement from your friends and loved ones.  Little words of encouragement, some empathy for the chore ahead of you.  Dieting, I believe, is a special type of situation.  As a fat girl, I have other fat girl friends, I have skinny friends, and I have male friends.  Other heavy women, while being able to empathize with your situation, often are sabotagers in disguise. Since they are unable to lose the weight they want, they really dont want you to lose the weight either. Skinny women don't understand why you are heavy in the first place, after all. it only takes some discipline!!  And men, gosh, don't get me started.  I love my husband dearly, I really do, but this man can eat 24/7 and not gain a darn pound.  And when he wants to lose weight, he can lose 10 pounds in one week!  One!  Week! #hatehimbutstilllovehim

But back to the sabotagers...I honestly don't think they are aware of the things they say or do. They are the debbie downers in our lives. The ones who tell you that it just cant be done.  Its just not possible.  That you just cant grow cabbages here.  Because secretly, down deep, we don't want others to achieve their goals, when we cant achieve ours.  We don't want to people to be prettier, or thinner, or richer than we are.  The little comments, the 'Here, try this!', the invitations out to lunch, dinner, or coffee & dessert.  How come no one ever invites people to go for a walk together?  Why do our social interactions have to revolve around food? 

Hello, my name is Jennifer...

Ive thought about starting a blog for quite a while now.  I am avid readers of several blogs, but have often thought that I would not be as amusing, or witty as needed to get people to come back time and time again.  So I decided today that I am going to start this blog, and am totally OK if no one ever reads what I have to say.  Sometimes you just need an outlet.  A place to write things down.  A place to vent.  

As you might have guessed from the title of this blog, its going to be about weight loss, struggles, successes, and the life that I manage to have through it all.  Its not always pretty, its not always sane, and its not always healthy.  

I am the youngest of my siblings, but for all general purposes I might as well be an only child.  And for all general purposes I might as well be an orphan.  I might touch on these relationships further along.  Or I might not.  

I have two sons and have been divorced and amazingly found the love of my life and got married a second time.  My oldest child is starting high school in about 6 weeks.  OMG.  High school.  And my youngest just turned 13 a couple of weeks ago.   I am not sure where the time has gone, but I swear they were just running around the backyard naked playing in the hose.  *sigh*


I am a teacher and work with preschoolers with autism.  Im sure some of this will make it into my blog as well.  But for now I just want to say that EARLY INTERVENTION IS THE KEY!


I am originally from Vermont, and had a very relaxed and laid back upbringing, location wise.  The details of my childhood have obviously impacted my weight, and I am sure I will touch on these things as I go along as well.


But for now...

Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I had a waisted youth.